When it comes to delivering a toast, above all else do not let cloudy sentiment run away with the speech. A toast is a salute to your beloved, to the honored guests, not a state of the union. Memory records fondly those that are brief. The longwinded among us will be forever poetically lost.
Of course, toasting has a grand history in the kitchen. Originally saluting your guests with a glass was a way to prove that you weren't trying to poison them. The Greeks had a habit of poisoning their rivals with wine, so this custom arose to prove their trust. The host would pour a glass from a communal pitcher, salute his guest, then drink. After his sip, he would pour a glass for the guest and ask that he drink in return. That sharing of spirits affirmed their friendship, trust, and allowed the rest of the night to go smoothly (unless, of course, there were daggers hidden upsleeve).
But why do we call it a toast? The Romans are responsible for that. In an effort to becalm the acidic taste of bad wine (we were not good winemakers as a species for hundreds of years after that) they would sprinkle toasted breadcrumbs into the first glass of wine. The toast (from the latin Tostus, to dry up or scorch) would change the flavor of their wine and make it more palatable. Don't ask me if this has any flavorful merit, I can't be bothered to ruin a glass of modern wine with crumb. Regardless of bread's effect on wine, the name stuck and so I must give credit to the seemingly absurd tradition.
You've had your history lesson, time for a bit of science:
The way we talk and write is rather mathematical. On average we speak anywhere from 120-150 words per minute. Our most common written sentences have roughly 10-15 words which can take five to eight seconds to recite. For a toast I recommend staying under 150 words. A toast should not take you more than a minute, remember this is a salute not a speech.
{The word salute comes from the Latin root Salus which means health, welfare, and greeting. Keep that in mind as you write. This is about your guest, not about you. Be quick and honorable with your sentiment.}
And now it is time to write. Where to begin?
Any time I draft a toast I use a simple acronym: H.A.M. (after all, there are few things as satisfyingly simple as ham on toast).
- Hope: Wish, dream, prayer, etc.
- Appreciation: Gratitude, thanks, credit, etc.
- Memory: Story, recollection, anecdote, etc.
When toasting quickly (say, at a bar with friends), use one slice of H.A.M. I’ll toast Cristina Ferrare of The Home and Family Show as an example.
Hope
To our dear Cristina, I hope the coming year is full of great challenges and an ever growing heart and mind to conquer them along the way. I wish for you nothing but success, cheers!
{35 words}
Appreciation
I’d like to honor Cristina this afternoon, from the day I arrived on set she has made me feel completely at Home and entirely part of the Family. Her grace has allowed me to do the work I love dearly and grow in this position. Thank you, Cristina, for your open heart.
{52 words}
Memory
I’ll never forget the day I realized Cristina not only hosts this program effortlessly, but also arranges the flowers before every taping. Her eye for detail is but a glimpse into a truly passionate and dedicated soul. Ladies and Gentlemen, please join me in raising a glass to our effervescent leader, Cristina!
{52 words}
But when you want a full sandwich, something to really chew on (weddings, graduations, anniversaries), then use every slice in one toast. The order is not important as long as you remember a proper H.A.M. sandwich has hope, appreciation, and memory. Don’t forget a slice!
H.A.M.
I’d like to honor Cristina this afternoon, from the day I arrived on set she has made me feel completely at Home and entirely part of the Family. Her grace has allowed me to do the work I love and grow in this position. Thank you, Cristina, for your open heart. I’ll never forget the day I realized Cristina not only hosts this program effortlessly, but also arranges the flowers before every taping. Her eye for detail is but a glimpse into a truly kind and dedicated soul. To our dear Cristina, I hope the coming year is full of great challenges and an ever growing spirit and mind to conquer them along the way. I wish for you nothing but success, cheers! Ladies and Gentlemen, please join me in raising a glass to our effervescent leader, Cristina!
The terrific thing about this template is that you never stray from the topic. Our goal in toasting is to honor our guest, neither roast them, nor give a speech about them; nothing more than saluting their health with a quick thought or three is required. Keep your mind on the H.A.M. when toasting and you'll be remembered for your wit, sincerity, and brevity.